I know it's generally a bad idea to let the high do the talking for you. But I really don't care right now.

Epiphanies like this demand to be listened to. And realisations like these mean so much.

I know now that I should take care of myself, if not for myself then for others as they view me as an object of worth.
It is selfish of me to neglect myself as it invalidates their opinions which is their right to have.
I owe it to myself and to others to take care of myself mentally, emotionally and physically.

I realised when making this that no one had actually come up to me and told me that it is ok. We never get taught out to love ourselves. We get told we should but it's thrown around as such a buzz word that no one actually means it.
Or we doubt the meaning behind it.
We get so caught up in disregarding things that we never actually stop and make it a part of ourselves. And as we go through life we get told to care for yourself is selfish. It's wrong as there are so many people worse of than you blahblahblah. We get taught to DEPRECIATE AND INVALIDATE ourselves! No wonder so many of us end up mentally fucked. We're trained into self hatred.

It IS ok to love yourself. For everything you are. Every flaw and every virtue. Every tiny thing. Every mistake and every hope. Every stupid laugh and every wasted breath.

It is not ok to hate yourself and ignore the good in yourself. To view yourself with a critical and irrational eye. It is selfish. And from a standing of hatred you will never grow. You will never learn or change.

Brushes from